


how do i know? where's the proof in you?

by harukatenoh



Category: No. 6 - Asano Atsuko
Genre: Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Other, they pronouns for nezumi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-06
Updated: 2015-07-06
Packaged: 2018-04-07 22:55:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4281087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/harukatenoh/pseuds/harukatenoh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nezumi is always running, through their lifetimes, towards Shion. Always falling behind, falling short.</p><p>Nezumi can never seem to reach him, but maybe Nezumi doesn't need to be the one doing all the reaching.</p><p>(based on the poem 25 lives)</p>
            </blockquote>





	how do i know? where's the proof in you?

**Author's Note:**

> u can find the poem here: http://s2b2.livejournal.com/142934.html
> 
> ah yes, no. 6, my favourite gays. hopefully u will see more of them, since i really do love these two! also the death isnt too bad, there's a happy ending to this :-)
> 
> dis 1 goes out to imogen and beane and anybody else who has read no. 6... i love u all
> 
> work title is from soldier by ingrid michaelson.

The first life had definitely been the best.

It held all the pleasure of having something wonderful for the very first time, before their story fell into rhythm, before Nezumi could easily go through the motions of each tale. It had the beautiful unfamiliarity of being together and falling apart only to be rebuilt again, the tumultuous emotions of love for the very first time.

The second life had been a surprise to Nezumi. They hadn’t remembered at the start, they hadn’t realized what was waiting for them, so when they first had to look into those violet eyes was when it hit them. It had been a one off meeting kind of life, and for the rest of the time, Nezumi searched, but never found.

Some of the lives followed that suit, with Nezumi never realizing what they were looking for until they found it, even if only briefly. Some lives, Nezumi knew from the start, knew who could fill the hole that was present in every single incarnation of themself. They didn’t know which one was worse, knowing what they wanted but rarely having it, or never knowing at all until the fateful meeting, when they were seldom prepared for it.

It never failed to amaze them, how much Shion could throw them off balance. He was so hard to figure out, so elusive. Nezumi had always been the wanderer and Shion the grounded one, but it was always Shion that was slipping through Nezumi’s grasp.

Maybe it was punishment, for running away in their first life, that Nezumi has to chase after Shion in the countless others.

They’re always running, except this time it isn’t away from Shion, but towards him, always running along that illuminated path that he walks. Vying at the very least, for a glimpse of the light that surrounds Shion.

And here he was, standing in front of them.

They wished it had been different.

They were losing blood fast, the bullet in their side draining what life they had left. It hurt, but it didn’t hurt nearly as much watching Shion handle the gun with such ease, such fluidity. It didn’t hurt nearly as much as watching Shion pull the trigger, with that cold, absent look in his eyes.

Nezumi hated that look, hated it more than anything. If not for it, Nezumi wouldn't have to be crying right now, their tears blurring up the last look at Shion they would get, for this life at least.

Nezumi tried to focus on something, anything else except the tears burning in their eyes or the image of Shion pointing the gun at them. Their mind falls to the other lives, lives where they had grown up by Shion’s side, lives where Nezumi got to watch Shion blossom and fall in love all over again and -

Their vision clouded, the world faded to black, and they hoped that the next life would be kinder.

* * *

 

Nezumi huddled in their corner of the crowded coffee store, staring blankly at the book beside them. It was a stormy day, and they had been trapped in here by the torrents of rain outside.

More people were filing in, escaping from the rain, and while some people could have described the atmosphere as cozy and warm, to Nezumi, it was overwhelming, suffocating.

Watching the people mill around the store aimlessly, Nezumi came to a decision and stood up abruptly. They gathered their things and pushed through the crowds, heading outside. There was something beckoning them out, a sense of foreboding that almost made them hesitate to leave. It was too strong, and that couldn't mean well.

Nevertheless, they continued pushing through the crowd, receiving some dirty looks. They were soon forgotten however, like a sudden gust of wind, disrupting for a few seconds before fading away.

Nezumi broke through the crowd, and almost slammed into the closed doors. Using their momentum, they flung both of the doors open to the howling wind and rain outside, stumbling outwards.

They crashed straight into the person who was a few moments before, walking into the store.

There was a shouted curse, a muttered apology, and a look up at the victim of their hastiness.

“Oh.”

Nezumi felt their heart skip a beat, maybe two, maybe it stopped altogether, because looking at them, with red eyes and an unreadable expression, was Shion,

Shion,

_Shion_

The world was screaming around them, the storm building towards its peak, but Nezumi couldn’t hear anything over the thrum of their heart. It rung in their head and they swore they could feel it in their fingers, even their toes.

“Nezumi.”

Shion’s hoarse whisper cut through all of the noise, stabbing directly into Nezumi’s heart and if Nezumi had been thinking straight, they would have berated themself for being so off guard. However, they weren’t thinking straight, because Shion had just said their name and there was a delighted, bewildered smile spreading across Shion’s face and later Shion would tell Nezumi that he wished he could have taken a picture of the expression on their face at that moment but for now Shion was throwing his arms around Nezumi, who hazily returned the gesture.

Shion was warm, warm enough to fight off the cold from Nezumi’s rain soaked clothes and wind battered skin, so Nezumi pulled him in tighter, pretending that the water on their face was just from the rain.

There were so many questions to ask, so many things that Nezumi couldn’t understand, but they doubted that any amount of knowledge could ever beat the sensation of Shion’s arms around them, of Shion saying their name.

They realized that Shion was saying something again, and underneath the cloak of rain and wind, Nezumi made out their own name, whispered again and again by Shion.

Nezumi sighed, and it was like they were letting out lifetimes of searching, of waiting, of wandering, all in this one moment.

“Shion.” They murmured, and finally, it felt like they had found what they were missing.

 


End file.
